If you had asked the Leah Ilana of 2020 where she would be career wise, she likely wouldn’t have guessed learning about grant writing for nonprofits in a hands-on environment. My educational background is in history and my undergraduate internships and employment experiences are in libraries, archives, and museums. After graduating with my bachelor’s, I [click to continue...]
On a bright and sunny July morning, I walked with my cane along the side of the Los Angeles Convention Center. With my head held high in my heavy blue wig, I got ready to join thousands of con attendees at Anime Expo (AX). It was my only day at AX, one of the busiest [click to continue...]
I’m told there’s a power to “healing out loud,” speaking to one’s experience of working through, or living with a mental health condition, physical disability, chronic illness, etc. As I tell the story of my recovery from anorexia or living life with my chronic illnesses, I’ve seen this power myself in myriad ways. Still, when [click to continue...]
A few days before Pride Month begins this year, the third time without my step-dad, I find myself reaching for the bag of his old shirts without thinking twice, slipping one over my head and inhaling the remnants of his scent, of that pine-scented deodorant he always wore, letting the faded cotton wrap me up [click to continue...]
“You know, Ilana,” my friend Cat said to me in one of many long-distance conversations, “You’re so kind and loving to everyone but yourself.” I resist the urge to roll my eyes. How many times have I heard similar remarks from therapists over the years, or the oft repeated reminder to practice self-compassion, advice I [click to continue...]
Every year, as spring comes and the boxes of matzah appear on grocery store shelves, my social media feed fills with reminders to start cleaning early. Memes about flourless treats abound, pictures of the perfect Seder plate crop up, and my stomach twists into knots. Our cycle of holidays is a back and forth of [click to continue...]
The first time I fainted in synagogue, no one was caught more by surprise than me. It was 2017 and I was freshly discharged from treatment for anorexia and bulimia. I was already deep in relapse, and even deeper in denial. I’m not the type of person who likes to draw attention to myself, and [click to continue...]
