The profile of bar and bat mitzvah recently got a boost thanks to Adam Sandler’s 2023 movie You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah. While the movie takes a playful look at how plans for a girl’s bat mitzvah unravel over a popular boy, the institution of bar and bat mitzvah has been around for generations and is quite natural, simple, and free from drama. There are many options for making bar and bat mitzvah “customized” to the needs of each learner.
Many bar and bat mitzvahs take place in a synagogue or temple on a Saturday morning. Since the Torah (biblical scroll) is read on other days including Mondays, Thursdays, Jewish holidays, and the first day of each Hebrew month, b’nai (plural for bar and bat mitzvah) mitzvah may be celebrated on a variety of days and in a range of settings. Reading from the Torah is not a requirement. I like to tell families that you don’t “get” bar mitzvahed or “have” a bat mitzvah—you “become” b’nai mitzvah”—even if you stay in your pajamas, under the covers when you turn 13 (12, traditionally, for girls) on the Hebrew calendar. [continue reading…]